Marriage, Divorce, Children
The question put to Jesus is divorce lawful. The Pharisees are testing Jesus, knowing that Moses allowed divorce. Jesus responds by defining marriage.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. The two become one. Genesis gives us a foundation for this understanding. God made man in His own image. God realizes that man needs a partner. Looking at all the animals created there is not one suitable for man. Primary reason is that none of the animals were made in God’s image. It must be another creature made in God’s image. With a rib from man God builds another creature, a woman. Woman is made in the image of God. When man is joined to woman they are in the image of God. What God has joined together no one must separate. Man and woman complement one another. What God creates is life. Through man and woman, they participate in the creation of God’s giving life. In and through this participation man and woman enter the Trinity of God. In a very real sense of entering the Trinity of God we also enter the Unity of God. Genesis points this out when we are told that God would walk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening. What God has joined together no one must put asunder. Woman was made for man and man was made for woman. This is God’s design and plan. As God teaches man and woman about Himself, they are to take this knowledge of God out into the world to share with every nation.
Does that sound like evangelization? That is because it is. Marriage is a great evangelizing method. Sometimes to see the advantages of marriage it is easier to see the disadvantages of divorce. I will cover those first. What does divorce teach us? First, there are people living in arrangements that are abusive and harmful. Those are not marriages. But to look at divorce in general, some of the more obvious reasons given are:
- we grew apart.
- bored, looking for something new.
- love that turned into intense hatred.
- children, or no children
- no longer the same interests or friends.
And the list goes on. What are we taught from this list? There is no longer a need to try to reconcile. Just leave, find someone else, run away from your problems, blame your spouse.
Divorce also teaches children in that marriage to behave the same way as their parents, but with one additional caveat – the children blame themselves for the breakup. No matter how many times divorced parents tell their children they are not to blame there is always a doubt in the child’s memory. The child thinks the parent left because the child was not good enough, or was not loved, or many other reasons. The child will end up blaming one of the parents for what happened. Divorce really is the work of the devil, creating sin from something God planned to be very good from the beginning.
Marriage was to be based on the love God has for the couple. Keeping God focused on and in your marriage is an act of evangelization not only for your family but for others who interact in your life.
Yes, there are times of trouble, and you will face trials, but knowing your marriage is in the unity of the Trinity, forgiveness and reconciliation take primary roles in your union. Just as Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church His bride, forgiveness and mercy are needed in every relationship. Christ gives us the example of the perfect marriage relationship. Do a little self-evaluation. Do others see your marriage as an example of Christ and the Church? If not, what needs to be changed? And any change always starts with yourself first.
May the Lord bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen