I Do Not Do the Good I Want
St. Paul reflected on his life. When he was Saul, he had been very cruel, torturing families, killing some, jailing others. As he thought about his past questions must have come to his mind. Did I do any good at all? What I once thought was right and good I now see as evil. I look into my heart; how could I harbor such anger and animosity toward other human beings? Is this the way I really am. God help me to change – please!
And God did, in a wonderful, dramatic fashion. Saul falls to the ground and comes up blind. Why are you persecuting me? A change takes place in Saul’s heart, and he is given a new name for a new life, Paul. Now Paul so wants to do the good things as directed by our Lord Jesus. He sees the good and grace God has given him. I so desire to be in the presence of the Lord.
Then, why, with this marvelous change of heart, do I still do not do the good I want? We ask ourselves the same question today. Why can I not do the good I want but continue to do evil? Because it is not that simple. We can have a change of our heart but that does not mean we have been rid of temptation. It is a continuous struggle for us to teach us that we need to always turn to God and pray for the graces to continue. When we fall, we get back up, ask God for forgiveness and try again. Go to confession this weekend. At mass, offer all you have, all who you are to God. Trust in Him.
May the Lord bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen