Sometimes I Feel Unworthy
I do, I do feel unworthy. I know I sin and make mistakes. In my own self-pride, I sometimes think I should move away from Jesus, try to hide myself. But that never works. I just find myself slipping farther away from the one I need most desperately in my life.
God was calling Isaiah to be a prophet. In that instant Isaiah realized how unworthy he was to be called. God provided; God made him worthy with burning ember. Think of Simon. Here is a man who must have been a good fisherman. He had a crew to help him. He had more than one boat. He must have been a successful businessman. He was a very good fisherman. Interesting that Jesus shows up on the morning where they did not catch any fish at all during the night. Was this a moment planned by God?
I picture Simon and his crew very tired men, having been up all night. And certainly frustrated and discouraged that they had not caught any fish. They had nothing to show for their hard work. All they wanted to do was mend their nets, have something to eat, and get some rest. Then this preacher shows up insisting that he use Simon’s boat.
It is surprising that Simon even allowed Jesus to use his boat. I wonder if Simon and his men had trouble staying awake as Jesus spoke? Then at the end of Jesus preaching, Jesus, who is not a fisherman, tells Simon, the expert fisherman to put out to the deep and lower their nets. Can you imagine what these men were thinking? You do not fish in broad daylight. The nets will scare away the fish. Or the fish will be in very deep water, deeper than what the nets can go. Who is this person to tell us how to fish?
Strangely, they follow Jesus’ request. And there is an abundance of fish. So many in fact that they must call the other boat to help load all the fish. So many fish that both boats are full and are in danger of sinking. Who is this man? The catch of fish is nothing short of a miracle. Simon realizes he is not worthy to be in the presence of Jesus. He falls at Jesus knees asking Jesus to depart from him. Jesus proclaims that Simon will become a fisher of men. Simon is no longer the expert of fishing in water. He will become an expert of fishing of men on land.
Be not afraid. In all we do for the Lord, be not afraid. When we feel unworthy fears creep into our minds and hearts. They chain us down, prevent us from acting. Trusting in the Lord, not being afraid, breaks the chains of fear allowing Jesus to work through us in many miraculous ways. God made each of good. When we sin, confess to God, get to the confessional when you can, and resolve to do better. You are a child of God.
May the Lord bless you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen